The Lord your God is with you, He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing.
Zephaniah 3:17
The name Abigail means my Father rejoices... She asks me to read her verse to her almost every night.. and every night she asks again what each part means... (yes, I'm sure it's also a manipulative attempt to postpone bed time... :) ) She giggles each time I tell her that He will rejoice over her with SINGING. I wonder what her visual of that looks like...
The first time I heard that verse was when I was 21. It was my second day in treatment in Arizona. I hadn't looked at anyone's face yet... In fact, I hadn't looked any higher than anyone's feet... I was ashamed, angry, and hopeless... My counselor pushed his Bible across the table so that it lay open to Zeph. 3:17 right under my face... I had nowhere else to look but in God's Word... I looked at the words as he read it aloud to me....
Eight years later I had spiraled once again into the same shame and hopelessness that I had felt that day... I was also pregnant with what I would soon find out was a girl... While looking for a name, I read about Abigail in the Bible and looked up the meaning. "Abigail - My Father rejoices".... I prayed that my daughter would not have to wait until she was 21 to hear and understand God's incredible love for her and His mighty power to save.
This March 11th Abigail (and her 2 older brothers) asked Jesus into her heart to be her Lord and Savior. I have never thought that I would "let" my children make that decision at such a young age, afraid that they would not fully comprehend or that they would do it in order to please man (us.) But that morning, as Abigail asked and I tried to gently put her off, I couldn't get Matthew 18:3 out of my head. "Unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven." Who was I to tell a 3 year old who was telling me again and again that she wanted to ask Jesus into her heart that she "was too young" or "didn't understand enough"? Maybe I should have been asking myself if I am childlike enough or humble enough to have Jesus in MY heart.... So, with each kid, we talked through why they wanted to make this decision and what that meant. We read through verses that explained God's plan of salvation. And then we prayed. For more than 2 years now the kids and I have been praying almost every day that God would help us to love Him more, love others more, and become more like Him... That we would use the strength of His Holy Spirit to do right and that He would change our hearts. We thank Him that even though He is AWESOME and MIGHTY and LORD of ALL, He still cares for us, forgives us, and loves us with a love we can't even comprehend. Unfortunately, I sin against God and against them every SINGLE day... BUT...God is humbling me and teaching me to go to Him and to them to confess and ask for forgiveness. In this, I pray that the kids are seeing the fallenness of man, the futility of trying to do right on our own strength, and our desperate need for a Savior. That even though we sin every single day, (and though he knew we would sin every day before we were ever born) he still chose to send His one and only son to suffer and die for us... To endure the punishment that we deserved so that we could know Him, love Him, glorify Him, and spend eternity with Him. Now, I can't know for sure how much of all of this my kids can grasp at such a young age. (I DO know that I can hardly even grasp it at my age!) But I will keep talking to them about it and use my own sin to bring them (and myself) back to Jesus. And I thank God that they "became like little children" and invited Him to come into their hearts that morning... I am praying that they will come to Him and love Him "like little children" for the rest of their lives.
After we finished praying, all three kids, smiling ear to ear, jumped up and down saying, "Now we are ALL Christians... except Micah!" and "Now I don't have to be afraid to die!" and "We are all going to be in heaven together!" Caleb turned to me and said, "I'm going to learn things really quickly now, Mommy... I'm going to get wise." The kids immediately called Daddy to tell him the wonderful news and he was very excited for them and eager to hear more. That night, he talked to them and listened to what they had to say about it all and then we had communion for the first time all together...
The Lord your God is with you, He is mighty to save....
3 comments:
Okay so I am in tears and so excited for you and your kids! This is definitely something that we look forward to as moms from the day they are born. I can't wait for the day when Maddy and Grace make their decision for Christ!
On another note, I just wanted to thank you for your wisdom and encouragement last Friday. I have seen a great improvement in Grace. You are an incredible example to those of us who started this mothering journey after you, thanks so much! Karen
It's awesome how God uses our children to bring us closer to him. And I am so excited for all of you - I can't express that enough! Your godly counsel and experiences have truly made a difference in my family's life. We love you all so much and great writing by the way. I don't care if I embarass you - you are a great writer! And I know how to spot them! And when you are writing out of your love for God, it's never anything but perfect. Oh and thank you for coming to visit us for a "night out" that turned into a night out at the hospital. You know I love you for that!
I had a great time with you two Friday. And it was fun to hang out in L&D with you, Jennifer! Thanks for the encouraging words from both of you. God is at work in our lives, isn't He? It's cool when we can be an encouragement to eachother and share the things that He is teaching us... And as for the writing, Jennifer - I tried and tried to (re)capture this and SO could not.. It was hard to just give up and publish what I had... But, thank you for your sweet words. :) I love you guys.
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